I am not sure about if anyone else experiences this, probably… The only feeling I can compare this to the ball of growing expectation and anxiety before a long journey abroad or the day before a planned ergot experience (I use this term for a good reason). It started a week ago and since, has simmered down into a deep calming sense of acceptance for what is yet to come. It almost feels as if I am preparing to leave the world — a venture into blackness. It feels like I am leaving the world. Maybe I will have left the old and once I get back, I will see the new. This excites me.
As I am writing this — an embracing warmth of acceptance washes. Interestingly, it almost feels like a heavy concrete block has landed in front of my existence and only once I surpass it, will I be able to see over and above where I am going. While blocking my path and view, it is surprisingly provides a strange sense of comfort in knowing things will be okay.
I will be leaving for Vipassana on Wednesday the 27th and come back on the 7/8th of July. I am grateful for my life, thankful for all my smiles and cries, and I wish the rest of the world the best of luck. Until then— Goodbye. Thanks for everything you have done for me and we shall connect once again.